When I was pregnant with Buzz, I heard a constant question from countless people. “Are you hoping for a girl?” I honestly wasn’t. Either way would have been fine, but I thought there would be something truly special about my son having a brother. That’s what I envisioned. Two boys, friends, brothers.
And when that became our reality, I was overjoyed. I couldn’t have imagined anything different. They were perfect, my boys. My sons. I was soon to be in a house full of action figures and Light Sabers and burping contests. There were times when I felt outnumbered, but it was exactly as it should have been.
Still, people would ask, “Are you going to try for a girl?”. As if we had somehow failed. Third time’s a charm. The answer to that was no, I don’t think so. We thought our family was complete, already a handful. Bony knees and dirty fingernails and all things blue. Perfect. To imply that something was missing would have been wrong. At least I thought it was.
Then, along came a surprise. And we weren’t sure how we felt about it at first. I was in denial for longer than I should have been, actually. But we gathered our wits and our courage and we prepared once again. Whatever it may be. Three boys, three brothers, would have been just as well. Easier even, maybe.
When I met her for the first time, though, they said “It’s a girl! You have a daughter.”, and I cried. This girl that took me by surprise. Who I didn’t know I was missing until she was here. We are still outnumbered, but at least I have someone on my side. And she will always have me on hers. My beautiful girl. It’s so much better than I could have ever imagined.