Wanted: Kind, nurturing type with plenty of energy to spare. Must love kids and noise and discussing zombies with an inquisitive 6 year old. Creativity, imagination, patience, and coloring in the lines are also helpful. As are an extra pair of eyes in the back of your head.
Duties include, but are not limited to and are liable to change at any time:
- Magna Doodle sketching
- child wrangling
- cat protecting
- minimal cooking (cereal, macaroni ‘n cheese)
- watching copious amounts of Disney Pixar movies
- milk refilling
- constant toy pickups
- butt wiping
- playground sliding partner (weather permitting)
- potty training (not required, but those willing receive extra consideration)
- normal daily household chores (again, not required, but very appreciated)
The mother will be on the premises, but mostly unavailable except in case of an emergency. She will probably spend the majority of her time secluded in the bedroom, possibly sleeping, likely “working” from her laptop, or just staring blissfully unaware at the wall. In other words, the mother is in desperate need of a long overdue break.
Position is part-time, 5-10 hours per week on a very temporary basis, or until the mother’s batteries have been recharged and wits restored. You must be available immediately. Payment will be in the form of an endless amount of gratitude and/or cookies.