Even Easy Can Be Complicated

J was headed to the grocery store and wanted me to email him a list of what to get. Who needs a pen and paper anymore when you have an iPhone? It’s a simple, menial task that should be completed in record time without incident. This is never the case, however, as kids can prolong any situation.

I open my laptop and Gmail on the kitchen counter and begin to type: milk, chocolat…

Then I notice Abby, who’s nose is running like a full-pressure faucet. I grab some tissue and have to chase her down, as it’s become a sort of catch me if you can with her. Meanwhile, Buzz is swinging on the refrigerator door. Obviously, being sick hasn’t slowed him any. I pry him down and return to type a few more items to the list.

Coco Puffs, breakfast muffins, turkey lunch meat, che…

Buzz’s flinging a toy at my legs and I need to wipe Abby’s nose again. Except she’s grabbed the crayons that were sitting on the table and, sensing my intentions, ran off down the hall. I give chase for a few feet until Buzz initiates an urgent whine for another milk refill.

After topping off their drinks, I begin again: trash bags, more cold med…

Jedi’s hollering from the other room, so I go in to find that the television has been scribbled yellow. After scrubbing it clean, I trudge my way back to the kitchen as Abby follows. While I’m wiping her slime-covered snout, Buzz takes the opportunity to reach up and press every key on the laptop he can touch. Thanks to that, it’s now a lesson in how to decode hieroglyphics. Abby begins to cry, which of course makes her nose ooze again. This is how an easy daily task turns into a 10 minute ordeal. At this point I press send, because even though I’m frazzled, I’m fairly sure I’ve at least covered the essentials. Before I remember, we’re out of bread and I completely left off anything for dinner.