Originally published on the now defunct fromthemonkeybars.com on October 9th, 2010
Jediâ€™s recent introduction to school has been an adjustment for all of us. While I believe he really likes going, if for nothing more than recess, he also complains every morning, pleading for a few more minutes of sleep. When I finally do manage to drag his weary, floppy body out of bed, his movements are slow to pick up speed. This means that even though I give us plenty of leeway at the time I chose as our wake-up call, we are still and always hurrying to get out the door. Isnâ€™t that the story of a motherâ€™s life?
Here, in all my month-full of infinite wisdom, Iâ€™ve compiled a few tips and tricks that Iâ€™ve painstakingly accrued.
Threaten and Bribe
I canâ€™t get my son out of bed without a boost, this usually involves a bribe of a delicious breakfast. Sometimes, though, even that doesnâ€™t do the trick. Which is when I break out the vague â€˜donâ€™t make me count to 3â€² threat. It works like a charm. So well, in fact, that no one, including myself, knows what happens if I ever am forced to count to 3. Though I like to imagine it involves bacon. Mmmmâ€¦ bacon.
While heâ€™s brushing his teeth, I comb his hair. While heâ€™s drinking his morning juice, Iâ€™m helping him apply his socks and shoes since he takes forever at it. The benefits of this are two-fold: 1.) itâ€™s an obvious time-saver, and 2.) if his mouth if full, heâ€™s less inclined to complain. Or Iâ€™m less likely to hear the complaints, anyway.
Get Everything Ready The Night Before
I skim through his backpack every afternoon he skips merrily through the door. No, that doesnâ€™t really happen, but I do pull out any and all papers, pictures heâ€™s drawn, worksheets sent home, and homework that needs completed. I empty all contents, making sure my end of the deal is done, signed, notarized, whatever necessary, so I donâ€™t have to fumble with it in the morning. In the afternoon, that blue scribble of a dog is such a good job, sweetie! In the morning, itâ€™d be a lot less cute.
When All Else Fails, Run
If youâ€™re running late, is it really necessary to brush those teeth? OK, yes it is, but Iâ€™m sure there are some tasks you can rush or eliminate. For instance, good hygiene is very important, but if itâ€™s a matter of my son washing his hands or missing the bus, the way I see it his hands are just going to get dirty again anyway. We havenâ€™t missed a bus yet.
With these tips and tricks, your child may not be the cleanest in school, but youâ€™ll never miss the bus, either.