I was watching a movie on cable while Jedi sat on the couch, neither of us paying a lot of attention. I believe it was Hitch, a completely inoffensive romantic Will Smith comedy. Except there was a montage scene with different couples kissing innocently enough. To which Jedi scrunched his face in blushed embarrassment then buried his head in the sofa pillow. The first time he’s ever acted like that.
“What? What’s wrong?”, I asked him, amused by his reaction.
Quietly, he replied, “That’s making my boy parts grow.”
“WHAT? Your what is what now?!”, I was not ready for that answer in the slightest. What do I do from here? The kissing made his boy parts grow? At 6 years old? Really? Where’s my damn parenting manual? Shouldn’t he be talking to his father at a time like this? Brain, not computing.
He then repeated the same thing. What’s a simple, non-hilarious, proper parental response to this? Something along the lines of it’s OK, it’s natural, but STOP IT. Though I decided first to ask, “What does that mean, Jedi?”
“It means I’m NOT happy”, he stated matter-of-factly.
Oh, well then. Awkward crisis diverted. As long as he keeps thinking the same, forever and ever and always. Quietly, to himself. I think we’ll steer clear of romantic comedies until he’s grown and out of the house from now on, though, just in case. I’m clearly not ready for that conversation.