Saturday afternoon, J suggested the bright idea of taking the kids to Chuck E. Cheese, a place we usually try to avoid as much as possible. Except this time, I said sure, sounds fun. Sounds fun? Clearly, neither of us were in our right minds.
I came home with a few alternate takes on their “where a kid can be a kid” slogan:
- Where a mom can lose a kid, and her last nerve.
- Where your 4yo can score higher than you at skeeball.
- Where a kid can be truly indecisive.
- Where a kid can be terrified of a pigtailed robotic chicken.
- Where it’s impossible to look cool drinking from a cup shaped like a crown.
- Where you eat your already non-appetizing pizza while staring at a giant mouse.
- Where you wish you brought hand sanitizer.
- Where you realize how cute your own kids are compared to everybody else’s.
- Where they play music from KidzBop. Need I say more?
- Where random kids will follow you around, begging for tokens.
- Where your entire self-worth is based on how many tickets you can accumulate.
- Where a kid can be a kid, but the parents feel really, really old.
- Where a kid might, possibly, pee his pants.
- Where a kid can be a screaming wild animal let loose out of it’s cage.
- Where it might be a good idea to keep a kid on a leash.
- Where they should really serve alcohol.
- Where a kid can spend 4 hours playing and racking up tickets to win some foam rocket piece of crap that was destroyed within 5 minutes of being home.
The things we, as parents, go through with a smile on our face. The kids had a good time, though, which is what counts. That’s what I’m supposed to say, right?